THINGS WE MADE UP.
THINGS WE WON'T
TELL YOU.
Every great kitchen has its secrets. Ours has more than most. We've spent years perfecting dishes that make people close their eyes mid-bite, put down their fork, and say absolutely nothing for a full thirty seconds.
We're sharing some of them here. Sort of. The important bits have been redacted for everyone's protection. Mostly ours.
Notice to the reader:
The recipes contained in this chapter are the intellectual property
of Bite Me Catering and are protected under the international
convention of "we worked really hard on this and you're not
getting it for free."
Any attempt to reverse-engineer, recreate, or claim as your own
will result in a strongly worded WhatsApp message from Kendra.
You have been warned.
The One That Started the Whole Thing
Born in the Tankwa Karoo on a work function that changed everything, this is the dish that made Kendra stop mid-sentence and look at Arno differently. Traditional technique, impossible tenderness, a rub that has no business being that good. Film crews have been known to go quiet. That never happens on set.
The One That Converts Meat-Eaters
A riot of colour, flavour, and things pulled from Kendra's garden at an hour that shouldn't be legal. Has caused at least four people to "accidentally" become vegetarian.
The Lodge Special
Developed somewhere between a 5-star game lodge and a braai at 2am, this is what happens when classical training meets the African bush and neither one backs down. Arno claims it's simple. It is absolutely not simple.
The One They Argue About Most
Technically Kendra's. Technically improved by Arno with fire. The subject of their most passionate culinary debate to date. Both take full credit. Both are partially right. It is extraordinary.
The Thing People Ask for by Name
No one knows exactly what's in it. Everyone wants more of it. Kendra makes it with the confidence of someone who knows exactly what she's doing and the smile of someone who will never, ever tell you.
"The full recipes are available.
On our menu. Which you order. And pay for."
We put years of training, thousands of kilometres of travel, and a frankly unreasonable amount of passion into this food. The least you can do is let us cook it for you. We promise it tastes better when we make it. Mostly because we won't tell you what's in it until you've already finished the plate.
* Bite Me Catering accepts no responsibility for food envy, unsolicited compliments to the chef, or the sudden urge to book us for every event you've ever considered hosting.